I wanna bring you to show and tell
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
