Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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