ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My cat gives me a boner
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
