You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
