The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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