i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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