If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
