worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
