U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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