that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
