i permit you to call me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
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Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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