Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
