just come out here and I will go home with you...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
