Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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