i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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