it hurts more in the daytime
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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