i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
