Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
