I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
