So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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