grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
