Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
