the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
