I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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