i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
