I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
