Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
