i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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