Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
