I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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