Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Buhtt sex?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
