I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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