Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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