I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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