just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
