I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
