You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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