Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
