She's JV to your varsity
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize