First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
