I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
