I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
