"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
