and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
