haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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