Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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