I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
