I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize