You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
