Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
