I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
