Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the condom got lost in my hair
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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