dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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