oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize