sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
