I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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