Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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