I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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