my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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