I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
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My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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