Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
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Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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