just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
