Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
